To See an Angel Cry

See her there, see her crying thinking she loves him so
But she doesn't know how much it hurts me to hear her beg him not to go
If she were mine again, I'd never let the tears fill her eyes
But she doesn't know how much it hurts me to see an angel cry.

Once she built her world around me and like a fool I tore it down
And she begged me not to leave just the way she is doing now
Now she is begging to another with that same hurt in her eyes
But she doesn't know how much it hurts me to see an angel cry.

I didn't know how much I'd hurt her till I saw her here this way
I didn't realize how much she was broken seeing her falling apart this way
If she were mine I'd hold her forever and dry the tears from her eyes
But she doesn't know how much it hurts me to see an angel cry.

Happy Birthday to Moi!

I am thankful for all my experiences in the past year:

I am thankful for all the struggles and hardships I had in raising my son alone because through that, I have discovered more about myself in doing things that are way beyond my limits.

I am thankful for the people surrounding me for all the love and appreciation they have of me being their friend and family.

I am thankful for the job that kept me at my toes from night till dawn till noon to give me money to pay for all my needs, especially my son’s needs. Even if it drains my brain dry, it gives me so much to do, so much to improve and so much to value.

I am thankful for not having problem with money or health this year.

Thank you for my good grades in school, needless to say, it's the reward of all my sleepless nights.

I am thankful for whoever invented or created ‘The Bar’ for he gave me the finest Filipino booze to date.

I am thankful for Marlboro for continually keeping me company through those times I needed to think and analyze my life.

I am thankful for me ex jilting me with this ‘married nurse’ for making me crazy for the big part of the year with these strange combinations of emotions; dealing with those led me to people who made me realize that living a full life does not come with ‘excess baggage’.

I am thankful for you for reading this nonsense birthday entry.

Lastly, I am thankful for my son who, even did not say the right words or did not do all the right things, completed my life.

I know I will have more things to be thankful for. But it would take another year to make me complete another list.
‘till then.

Juzz feelin' dis song

ScarJo just looks ... tempting ... well, looks like I will be humming something like this sooner or later...tsk tsk! trouble in paradise... hahahaha!

let me just say, it would be wiser not to stick your fingers to something or someone you don't know anything about ...

knowledge is power... do I hear pathetic? who's pathetic now.
hahahaha!



better start over than live a lie...aye?

La la Leo!

Last weekend, I was re-running the classic movie "Titanic" and realized how i have forgotted how handsome Leonardo di Caprio was...is!

Here is a rare picture of the handsome Leo...for our everyday's amusement.

Turning Tables

Just when everything seems to be fine and okay, a friend of mine asked me an advice on how will she ever go on since her boyfriend has also cheated her for another girl.

This was really interesting. I honestly don’t know what to say. How can I ever advise someone of a thing that is so difficult, so painful and so utterly disgusting to deal with? I can’t find words to describe how the first few days will be like hell. It would be like contemplating on strangling the necks of the basterds or simply get on with life in a more peaceful way. Or should I say, contemplating on pitying yourself or trying to be as angry as ever, like practically bringing hell as most people would say. No person deserves an experience like this. Nobody. That is for the simple reason that it doesn’t make anything right or that it does not make sense.

Either the other woman is great with sexual favors or in other talents, it’s not enough reason to leave a person hanging right there and be even expected to be faithful as one do such a disgusting act. A person who has been nothing but loyal and devoted certainly does not deserve that kind of treatment, which makes the cheater quite an ass… Thinking that these acts are premeditated, it’s just disgusting to discover a person whom you trusted would do a thing like that to you.

So instead, I offered her two options. It’s either to continue hoping and living with this guy thinking at the back of your mind that he can do that again and that he can hurt you again or a life that is open for other possibilities, including finding someone who will value you for what you truly are. At the beginning, it would be feeling like you got stabbed behind your back. Betrayal is never a good thing. Things will be hard, perhaps the hardest thing you will ever deal in your life. But the thing is, you’ll survive. The question is, when you have already moved on and he saw you are happy in the arms of a better man…can he survive that?

Tables are turned so soon…I feel that I am still not qualified to give an advice on this. But the thing is, I am happy with what I have become out of the experience…and happy with my “exploring life’s possibilities”. I know, she’ll get by…just as I did.

Forget Him

Forget his name
forget his face
forget his kiss
his warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember he has someone new
Forget them when they played you for a fool
Remember they were together all along
Forget how close you once were
Remember he has chosen her
forget how you memorized his walk
forget the way he used to talk
forget the things he used to say
Remember he has gone away
Forget his laugh forget his grin
Remember his sin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he's with her tonight
Forget the years that went just that
forget the love that moved
forget he said he loved you, it's past
forget he said he's never to leave you
Forget he promised you a life
He has forgotten you, your son when he turned
Remember, he left you, he left everything
Remember he's gone with her.
If you were to blame, who knew?
Forget he even cared for you
For what he did has killed you anew
Forget the pain forget the two
For you got a chance with someone new
Forget him...
forget them...
forget and live again.

On dealing with mistakes

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.